Marriage – Children and the Marriage Relationship

Marriage and children go hand in hand, but if you and your future spouse do not take the time now to discuss, “How are we going to rear our children?” you will argue about it later.

The topic of children will create many arguments if it is not dealt with right from the start.

The Number of Children

The first matter that a new couple must agree on is the number of children. If one spouse wants many children but the other is concerned about the cost of large family there will be arguments about money problems later. However, if a couple can agree on the number of children ahead of time many arguments will be avoided.

The Discipline

The next matter of importance is how the children will be disciplined. It is not uncommon for a couple to come from diverse family backgrounds and possess different views on child discipline.

Questions like whether or not you will spank your children must be discussed and agreed upon or there will be troubles later. How the children are disciplined can be as damaging as money problems.

The Faith Training

Another matter that must be dealt with is the faith training of the children. It used to be that when a couple married they were usually from the same faith. However that is not true any longer. It is very possible that a young couple will come from different religious backgrounds. This might be overlooked by a couple in love but it will create problems latter when the children arrive.

Don’t leave this issue unresolved. A couple must agree on the faith training of their children.

The Education

Finally, we come to one of the most difficult issues to agree on, education. Don’t assume your new spouse will agree with your views on how to educate your children, Not everyone believes that public education is the way to go, many people feel private schooling is to expensive and others believe that homeschooling is the best choice.

So, sit down with your spouse and determine together what will be best for your children and your family as a whole. This will probably be the hardest point to agree on but it will worth the effort to work it out now and not later.

Come to an Agreement

A couple must agree on the number, discipline, schooling, and faith training of their children. Many families have been destroyed because the parents didn’t agree on the methods used to rear their children.

My Husband Is Telling Me That I Should Leave Our Marriage If I’m So Unhappy In It

I don’t think that anyone enjoys being unsatisfied with their marriage. I don’t think that anyone strives to be unhappy. In fact, many of us don’t admit, even to ourselves, that we are not content with our marriage until things have gotten pretty bad.

And sometimes, once we admit this unhappiness to ourselves, we hesitate to say anything to our spouse. We don’t want to sound as if we are complaining and we don’t want to be unreasonable. So by the time that things get bad enough that we share our concerns with our spouse, we’ve typically been dealing with the issue for quite a while.

It can take a lot of courage and resolve to tell your spouse that you aren’t happy. And, in order for many of us to do this, we try to convince ourselves that by taking this chance, things are going to be better in the long run. We tell ourselves that it will all be worth it in the end because if we are successful, then both ourselves and our spouses are going to be happier.

And, this does happen for some. It’s wonderful when your spouse hears your request in the respectful manner in which is was intended. Unfortunately though, not every one is this lucky. Honestly, it is human nature for even the most fair and calm people to get defensive when you tell them that you are just not happy in the relationship that you share.

In fact, some get so defensive that they give you an unfortunate challenge – they tell you that if you are that unhappy, then end the relationship. And leave it.

This can leave the person making the request with a very difficult decision to make. Do they continue to press or rock the boat? Or do they stand their ground and face the risk?

Here’s an example. A wife might have this type of situation: “when I met my husband, he was so sweet. He was always doing thoughtful things for me – leaving love letters, bringing me small and inexpensive trinkets just to let me know that he was thinking of me, and singing my praises to all of his friends and family. People used to tell me that my husband just beamed whenever he talked about or was with me.

People used to envy us. Well, that has all changed. Today, my husband barely acknowledges me. Well, maybe that is taking it too far. But there’s never any sweet gestures anymore. Only when he wants to have sex is he even remotely sweet. He takes me for granted and sometimes he is just downright rude. Now, I will admit that I have noticed this more since my best friend divorced and began dating the love of her life. Her new boyfriend acts the way that my husband used to. And just seeing this makes me realize that my husband puts no effort into our marriage. So I finally told him about this and said that I feel like he’s not even a little bit sweet to me anymore. His response to me? ‘You’re just saying this because you have an unrealistic view of an adult relationship because of your friend. Wait until they’ve been together for ten years and then look at how they act. Plus, if you don’t like it, then leave me and find someone else who will treat you like that.’ I am stunned and sad. I never intended to leave my husband. And I do not want to now. I just wanted him to be sweet to me again. Now I feel like my marriage might be over because I was trying to make it better.

I know it feels like your marriage might be over. But more likely, your husband is feeling defensive and his words reflect this. Try to see this from his point of view. He is likely watching you feel jealous every time you talk to your friend. And he likely feels that the comparison you are making between a long time marriage and a new relationship is unfair. (And he is correct that it’s probably fair to assume that if your friend is still together with the new guy in ten years (which is a big if) then their relationship would likely look much different than it does today.)

It is true that people tend to treat each other in a more familiar way when they’ve been together for a long time. However, you are not out of line for wanting to feel loved and appreciated. Everyone craves more touch and more affection.

Many people would think that you have two choices: To either just live with things as they are or take your husband’s directive and leave if the situation is truly unbearable.

But I think that there is another option. You can come at this in a different way. Clearly, your husband is defensive and sensitive about this. So talking about it in any way that he will see as criticism is probably not going to work very well. Instead, I have found that the better strategy is to inspire him to want to do better.

Advantages of Gas Grills Over Charcoal Grills – What You Need To Know Before Buying

Charcoal grills have dominated the grilling industry for the longest time. But now, gas grills are slowly catching up to its popularity. Even restaurant owners have to invest on more convenient gas grill brands to grill different kinds of dishes perfectly.

This does not mean that gas grills are more superior to charcoal grills. There are still distinct benefits to using the conventional grilling method preferred by other people. But this is the best time to check the advantages of gas-operated grills over the charcoal ones so you can determine the right grill for your cooking needs.

1. Easier and faster ignition system

How easy it is to twist the knob and heat up the grill? It is practically a no-brainer. Unlike the traditional style of grilling, you don’t have to light up the charcoal for a few minutes and allow it to heat up. Because this cooker is operated by gas, you can easily manipulate it.

2. You can use different grill temperatures

Some brands of grills even offer up to 500 degrees Fahrenheit of temperature. You can use different levels of cooking because you can use different grill temperatures. You can say goodbye to burned, undercooked or unevenly-cooked foods.

3. You can take them anywhere

You might think that it is easier to carry a charcoal grill when you are going on a picnic but the gas-operated ones work just as well as the charcoal ones. They are not too bulky. They usually have compact designs. Even the propane tank has smaller-sized options so you can bring a small one for camping trips.

Additionally, there are tabletop grills that can make your meals fun and exciting. You can place the grill in the middle of your dining table and you can grill on the spot just like an authentic Japanese or Korean restaurant. You can’t do this if you are using charcoal since smoke can fill up the house.

4. Sturdier materials

They are usually made from high-standard materials so they are highly durable and more resistant to high heat. That being said, this grill will last longer than its charcoal counterpart. Also, the structure is sturdy and resistant to wear and tear. You don’t have to worry about knocking over some parts.

5. Easier to clean

Most of them have easy clean-up features. Fats drip on a drip pan. When cleaning, you only have to heat up the grill for about 15 minutes to dissolve the oil and grease. Take off the drip pan and wash it with soap water.

Are Your Managers Fit for Purpose?

The world of work is changing. Generation Y (and soon Generation Z) employees expect to work differently than previous generations. Research carried out by Ashridge Business School showed that younger employees entering the workplace don’t want to ‘do time’ as their predecessors did. They want to get ahead and they want to get there fast. They grew up in a different environment and come to the workplace with different skills. They’re not motivated by the same things and they approach work relationships differently.

Therein lies the problem

The world has changed dramatically. Rapid changes in technology, communication and the way business is run provides a very different workplace to that encountered by their parents.

One of the biggest concerns for managers interviewed by researchers was retention of young people. Compared to past generations, Managers see Generation Ys as being impatient and apt to leave if they are not having their needs met. This then contributes to worries about succession planning and business continuity because graduates generally do not aspire to the jobs of their more mature colleagues. So, this leaves Managers with the question of how to motivate them.

Managers also feel strongly that today’s graduates lack experience – not only work experience but life experience and the interpersonal skills so essential in building relationships, meeting deadlines, managing their emotions and the emotions of others.

What can Managers do?

In some circumstances a Manager may be managing a team of young, Generation Y employees but answering to a Baby Boomer or Generation X. Each of these will have their own ‘map’ of the working world with values and drivers typical of that generation. Managers would benefit from understanding the difference between the various generations and how they can meet the needs of each.

They particularly need to understand Generation Y employees, what motivates them and how to get the best out of them.

Generation Ys want to be managed differently. They don’t respond well to a didactic style of management and seek more coaching and mentoring. Managers may need to adapt their management practices to be less authoritarian and more of a coaching approach. To many, this way of managing may feel threatening – like giving away their power and control. Others may struggle to adopt this style of managing without becoming too casual or fear employees may take advantage of them and that they may be perceived as being ‘weak’. This can be hard for a lot of Managers and they need training and coaching themselves to help them take on this new style effectively.

Challenging and interesting work’ was found to be the overwhelming motivator for both Managers and Graduates in the report.

Providing the right level of challenge for graduates can be very disconcerting for Managers as, perceiving a lack of skills in the graduates to cope with the task, the act of giving responsibility and a challenge to graduates may feel too risky. This is where skilful management, negotiations of ways of working and effective delegation skills are essential.

The right amount of intervention, encouragement and supervision will mean graduates rise to the challenge and stretch themselves and achieve peak performance, too much and they will be left feeling resentful, demeaned and micro-managed.

Unmet expectations in work cause graduates to leave but many managers find graduates want promotion before they are ready.

Graduates think they lack technical skills; managers think graduates lack people skills!

The wise Manager addresses this by seeking out the right type of training for their graduates to give them the interpersonal skills they need to survive and thrive in the workplace. Helping graduates gain this ‘wisdom’ not only benefits the Manager directly in that they have a more mature team member but the organisation becomes known as a great people developer. This means they’re more likely to retain current talent but also attract future talent and entices back those that who left to return bringing with them further experience and insight and knowledge of the competition.

The Basics Of Smoking Meat

I’ve been smoking meat for many years and researched the process. Some advice I have found to be invaluable but other information has been of little used or plain wrong. Here’s we’ll discuss meat and how to prepare it for smoking.

The process of smoking can be broken down into three stages and the first of these is the curing or brining which forms part of the drying process and it’s also an opportunity for flavor enhancement. In the case of fish the message is always the fresher the fish the better but this is not always the case when it comes to preparing meat for smoking.

The issue with meat is that it has to age before the meat will be absorb salt. Beef must be hung for at least 10 days before it will absorb salt and preferably for longer. This can be an issue if you don’t know and trust your butcher and certainly it’s a big issue if you’re planning to buy your meat in a supermarket. There is absolutely no guarantee about the length of time that supermarket meat has been hung other than not enough.

I know you’re going to argue that meat is cheaper in the supermarket but there is a reason for that. Hanging meat is in effect a drying process so the longer meat is hung the drier it become and therefore the greater the weight loss. The hanging time is a cost to any butcher, space to do it, inventory etc. so it’s logical that a butcher is going to charge more and it’s logical that a supermarket can charge less but frankly there’s no argument when it comes to quality and flavor.

Ideally the beef should be aged in the carcass but this always isn’t possible. One point to note however is that aged beef discolors to a brown – this doesn’t mean that the beef is going rancid, it is exactly how it should be.

So for aging, fourteen days is about optimum and when it comes to game I like to do it a little less. Many will argue that game needs to be well hung if it’s going to be full of flavor but I find that an overly game taste conflicts with the smoky flavor.

On this basis I prefer my venison to have aged by only a week and game birds not to be aged at all although some would say two or three days.

What about frozen meat? Some argue vociferously against smoking any meat that has been frozen but I’m not so sure. To be fair I always like my meat fresh whenever possible but if frozen is the only option then feel free to try it.

Certainly the aging process must be completed before frozen and in the case of game the birds should be plucked and gutted. It’s always a good idea to wrap any meat that is to be frozen for any period of time in aluminum foil or brown paper rather than polythene bags because this will prevent the meat from drying out.

What Are the Best Trojan Condoms?

Trojan Condoms are the best selling condoms in the United States.  Every store that sells condoms in America has a huge selection of Trojans because of the wide variety of styles, types and sizes made by the company.

Are Any Of Them Any Good?

Despite the marketing dollars spent and the shelf space stores give to Trojan, there are only a few types that can be considered among the best condoms.  When you look at the statistics for thickness, you’ll find that popular condoms like the Trojan ENZ and the Magnum are much thicker than other brands.

According to studies done by Consumer Reports, this added thickness does not make condoms stronger.  Rather, all it does is decrease your pleasure during sex. 

There is good news, though.  Other manufacturers, especially those in Japan, have been coming up with new innovations and thinner condoms for years.  Trojan is just now starting to catch up.

The Trojan Supra is a polyurethane condom that people are raving about.  Polyurethane can be used if you or your partner are allergic to latex.  In addition, it allows more heat to transfer during sex than latex condoms.  This means you will get to feel more of the warmth and closeness, just like you were wearing nothing at all.

Trojan has also come out with a new, thin Magnum model.  This is good news for those who are a bit thicker and need the larger size.  Now you can get more pleasure with the thinner material, but still get the protection you need.

5 Reasons Marriage Is Important

The importance of marriage cannot be overemphasized because of the strategic role it plays in putting society in its right position. It is the foundation of families, religious institutions, governance, the military and other pillars upon which societal hope is anchored.

Marriage is the bases on which the plan of God for humankind finds fulfillment. When God said to man “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it…” (Gen.1:28), he knew that the only way to bring this command to pass was for man to be married.

There are several reasons why marriage is important; some of which include:

1. Responsibility: Man is saddled with a lot of responsibilities which can only be expressed when he becomes married. Some of the responsibilities God gave to man include love for his wife, marital consummation, child upbringing, care of the family, collective fellowship with his family, etc. And for the woman, God expects her to cooperate with her husband to carry out their marital responsibilities, as well as be submissive to him. More so, no man or woman would be taken serious in societal if he/she refuses to marry; because society views such persons as people who shy away from responsibility.

2. Honour: Marriage is honourable; when you are married, you are respected by people. Men would treat a woman with some respect and minimize the rate at which they sexually harass her when they are aware she is married. The reverse is the case for a single lady who everybody sees as freely available for all. The moment you put on your wedding ring, you are held in high esteem; the single girls look elsewhere for a suitor and the bachelors also become aware you are no longer available to be courted (if you are a woman).

3. Health: Marriage reduces your health risk. When you are married and you are faithful to your spouse, the tendency to be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV, Herpes, warts, etc is highly reduced. Reduced exposure to diseases guarantees your longevity.

4. Procreation: Marriage is the platform on which one is permitted to procreate for the purpose of keeping the human organism in existence. God does not permit man to have children outside of wedlock; he expects the human race to be preserved through the institution of marriage.

5. Support: It provides support needed for one to succeed. One of the reasons one should be married is for one to have a partner that provides the help, emotional/psychological support, encouragement, love and care that would help one to succeed in life. It is easier for one to succeed when the opposite sex is there to lend these encouraging supports than when alone. No wonder the saying that two good heads are better than one.

If you have never seen reasons to be married before, you should now consider getting a husband/wife so as to enjoy the above-listed benefits. Marriage enables you get the best out of life and enjoy the respect of other people. It makes you a better matured person who is able to take responsibilities.

Complacency in Marriage

When complacency creeps into a marriage, we no longer try to keep the marriage as exciting and fresh as the day we said “I do”. We forget to say “I love you” on a regular basis and begin to take each other’s love for granted. We make assumptions that our partners will always be there, no matter what happens. We begin to do or say things without thought as to how our partners will react or feel. We become comfortable in the marriage to the point where we believe the prize is won and there is nothing else to do but to sit back and relax.

It is easy to become complacent in a marriage when dealing with the responsibilities in our lives, that quite often take a great deal of our time on a daily basis. Sometime when children are present in the marriage, we can become completely preoccupied with raising them and not take time out for each other or one or both partners may be working long hours, that interfere with spending time with each other. Our daily responsibilities can, often, lead us to the point of forgetting that a marriage has to be nurtured in order to grow.

In a complacent marriage, we assume that we know our partner’s feelings, how they will react in certain situations and how they think, but assumption within a relationship will often lead to misinterpretation of a partner’s feelings, words, actions and point of view on issues within the marriage. We often assume that our feelings toward our partners are already known, and there is no need to reaffirm them to each other. We forget that every human being has to feel wanted, loved and appreciated and that the most effective and simplest way of expressing feelings for each other is through a tender touch or a spoken word.

Complacency in a marriage provides no incentive for us to change. It allows us to assume that all is well and blinds us to the fact that a change in attitude toward the marriage is needed to keep the marriage healthy and alive. When we begin to assume how a spouse will react or feel towards something said or done, we allow our assumptions to dictate how we respond and treat each other and we often miss the signs that things are not going well within the relationship.

Complacency allows time spent with a partner to become the least important on our list of priorities. We forget or fail to realize that the union of two people in marriage means companionship and that companionship requires an emotional link to each other, that must be stimulated and reinforced on a constant basis and when it is not, it can bring feelings of loneliness, boredom or neglect and the marriage can find itself dying a slow death.

Within every marriage, change is inevitable, but the change should always be toward making the bond between each other stronger. Spending time with a spouse, keeps the love we have for each other, kindled and growing stronger. It is time spent enjoying each other and better understanding each other’s needs and wants. When we allow the seed of complacency to take root within the marriage, it can leave us wondering, sometimes too late, where the marriage went wrong and how to save it.

Marriage in the Modern World

Marriage is one of the most important issues in life. I am concerned about the practical issue of life. I know that the issue of marriage is very important to you as well as to everyone in the society. Yet, in our modern world, we seem to be perplexed on this important issue of our lives. Many marriages have been messed up. Families are breaking up at an alarming rate. Children are growing up emotionally disturbed. The church and the society are disintegrating at a very fast rate. The institution of marriage has nearly collapsed.

I read of a man who has married nineteen times since 1931. He kept two wedding dresses in his closet for ready use. He was just getting married for the purpose of raising a family. He kept two sizes of wedding garment suitable for her. Divorce is on the increase all over the world. At the turn of this century, in many parts of the world, there was just one divorce in between forty six and fifty marriages. But today, the common thing in the developed countries is that there is one divorce in every three marriages. A writer expressed the mood of many people in our modern world when he said: “All men are born free but some get married”. This statement implies that marriage is bondage and that getting married is a bane rather than a blessing. It is unfortunate that many people are getting into marriage with such a wrong notion. Another writer says “Too many people marry for better or for worse but not for good”. Again, this statement reveal people’s attitude to marriage. The situation is so bad that people hardly expect any good thing from marriage. All these shows how far marriage has degenerated in the modern world.

Anybody that is happily married is a successful man or a successful woman, even if he or she has failed in everything else. But it is even doubtful if you will fail in every other thing, if your marriage is successful. Majority of people have failed in the areas of life have failed woefully in their marital lives. I believe that you are a success, if you have been able to keep your home peaceful and happy.

10 Ways to Keep Love, Passion and Intimacy Alive in a Marriage!

Marriage is not just about getting a mortgage and having children. It is about two people who have fallen in love with each other and have made a commitment for life. So how do they keep their relationship alive and passionate for such along time?

Keep the flame of love burning

1. Never forget you are part of a couple and nourish your relationship continually. Like most things a relationship needs to be maintained and constantly monitored. You are individuals but also part of a team that has come together because you believe the love you share can bring you a life of happiness. If you keep the flame of love burning, the passion inspired then intimacy will be a journey of discovery for you both.

The importance of intimacy in a marriage

2. Never let intimacy fade from your marriage. It is those private moments shared that will keep you wanting more. Try not to let work or kids get in the way as making love with your husband or wife restores closeness and eases the stress that this world we are living in can bring. If a couple are smart there is no reason they cannot stay this way for the rest of their lives. Keeping an air of mystery around the marriage will ensure its longevity and there are many creative ways two people can keep their love making as fresh as the first time. Even though pajamas are cute there is nothing more alluring than a woman in sexy lingerie beckoning her husband to the marital bed.

Turn offs

3. Do not get complacent with each other as this will lead to distance between the two of you and sex will be put on the back burner as you struggle to remember why you actually got married. You will become roommates instead of lovers and your passion for each other will be easily lost. Taking each other for granted is a total turn off and apart from breeding resentment will all but destroy any intimacy you may have. Before it reaches this point start talking and listening to each other

Date nights

4. As children can make a big change in a couples life try not let it take over. Some women lose interest in sex when they are pregnant and carry on this way long after their children are born. This happens a lot as women put their children above their husband who is left feeling as if he does not count any more. It is a tall order but getting pregnant in a marriage is supposed to be a declaration of the love you share and the moment of conception was probably just that so keeping passion alive through the early child hood years could be a challenge. One night a week you could ask the grandparents to baby-sit so you can have a night just for the two of you. They call this a date night and it is in answer to the stresses and strains that married life can bring. It should to be a time of relaxation and revamping the spark of intimacy. A romantic dinner for two out or a stroll along the beach on a summers’ night. Anything that takes you back to the time you were dating and could not get enough of each others’ company. Make sure you set a mood for seduction and let nature take its course.

Tell them how you are feeling

5. Keep the lines of communication always open. If something is bothering you ask your partner to sit somewhere quiet with you and tell them what is happening. Bottling things up is guaranteed to lead to a quarrel or fight as the problem you have kept to yourself manifests itself in other ways. You may be blaming your wife for forgetting to pick up your dry cleaning when the real feelings you have are related to her sudden distance in the bedroom. Some couples may as well be talking in a foreign language to each other as they express anger or frustration without actually telling their wife or husband what the real issue is. You are not on your own anymore you are married and have someone lying next to you each night who wants to be there for you through thick and thin. Do not push them away because you find it hard to share your most intimate thoughts. That is why you got married because you found someone who loves you dearly and wants you to have a fulfilled life. Silence is not always golden.

Flirting for fun

6. Flirting with each other is very playful and is often a prelude to a night of passion. When you first met you would have been flirting like mad with each other but once married may see this as silly and immature. Flirting is harmless and makes a relationship lively as each partner enjoys the attention of the other. It is something you should never lose and it is guaranteed to put a smile on any lovers face.

Marital Bliss

7. Marriage is a serious business especially when you have children because providing for their needs and trying to raise them right can put a lot of pressure on a couple. That is why it is important to leave it all behind when you can. Once the kids are in bed find ways to make each other laugh and enjoy each others company. The greatest asset you have is each other and the strength of your marriage. Chase your wife around the table and act like you are 17 again as there is nothing like cutting lose of your burdens even if it is for a couple of hours to inspire love and sexual interaction. I have known couples in their fifties who have that twinkle in their eyes that says to the world we are still lovers and happy to be together.

The power of love

8. Never underestimate the power of making love as it takes you to a place that often only soul mates can go. The euphoria of time spent together like this will keep your marriage well intact. It is also considered better than any glass of wine or massage for total relaxation. Keep these times impulsive and exciting without any pressure. Being too predictable about when you make love will make it a mission more than a pleasurable surprise.

Grand gestures of affection

9. Leave romantic messages on your partners phone or ring them and tease them about what is in store for them when they get home. These kinds of games are healthy and a lot of fun. If your wife likes flowers buy them at least once a week just to thank her for being your wife. Women love to be appreciated so nothing will get her in the mood more than a husband who shows how much he cares Ladies never stop admiring your man as feeling the Prince of his palace is very important to him. He will thank you by being loyal and attentive. Understanding what it is each other needs is half the battle won as small displays of affection by way of gifts or kind words can make each partner feel as if they are the most important person in their husband or wives life.

Keep talking and talking

10. Never stop telling each other how much you love and desire them. Verbalizing your feelings can be the best turn on ever as words are known to be a sexual stimulant. Talking to each other in an intimate way is a form of foreplay, which can keep things interesting for the rest of your days. Being told you are a gorgeous woman or a handsome man is bound to stoke the fires of love and passion so never be afraid to say how you feel. In fact compliment each other every day for how they look or something they do. Expressions of appreciation keep a marriage filled with contentment.

These are 10 ways to keep your marriage alive and enduring.